Building Your Wings

I was talking to a young man recently. He was one of the core members of my youth group back in my youth pastoring days. Since then he has gotten married, had a child and started a successful small business. We spoke of his struggles growing his business and knowing when to expand or to hold off. Where is that fine line between faith and wisdom anyway? I was sharing about some of the obstacles we have faced in building our church facility and pastoring a church in general. Obviously there are differences between business and pastoring, but there are some things that are the same no matter what you feel like your life’s career or pursuit might be. One of those things is that nothing in life is certain except for the fact that nearly everything is uncertain.

During the course of the conversation I was reminded of a plaque that usually sits on my desk, although, at this moment, it is wrapped in newspaper and safely sitting in a storage unit waiting for the completion of our church facility. (Speaking of obstacles) The plaque was actually a gift from my wife. I don’t remember now what the occasion was, but I do remember how those few simple words impacted me and have helped guide me through some big and, at times, scary decisions I have had to make. The plaque simply says, “SOMETIMES YOU’VE JUST GOT TO TAKE THE LEAP AND BUILD YOUR WINGS ON THE WAY DOWN.”

I’m not too old….at least that’s what I keep telling myself. I am, however, older than I’ve ever been, and in all of my years I’ve noticed a couple different types of people.

First, there are those people who just live to make it through the day. Sure, there was a time when they had a dream or a vision about where God would take them, but that time has seemingly past. Now it’s just the same old job, the same old routine, the same old everything. Often these same people will complain about their job, circumstances or whatever, but never seem to do anything about it. It’s like the man who opened his lunch box and said “bologna on white bread again!” When his co-worker said, “why don’t you ask your wife to make something different?” The man replied, “My wife doesn’t make my lunch I do.” If you don’t like it, why not try something different? Often these people will say things like, “It just is what it is” or “I used to have a dream but life got in the way.” Maybe they will say something like, “I’ve got it pretty good here, I should be happy.” Although while they are speaking you can palpably feel that they are not where they want to be and they are most certainly not happy or fulfilled.

On the other side of the coin, I’ve seen the faith-walking, risk takers. Last year I had the opportunity to speak at a church that was founded by a friend, who unfortunately for us, passed and went on to be with the Lord at a pretty young age. Their facility is actually an old school that was purchased and turned in to a church. This was no small undertaking, financially or practically. This is also not some big mega-church congregation. Instead, it’s a small but dedicated group of believers who were, up until his passing, led by one of the most faith-filled people I have ever met. Since his passing, his wife and other members have picked up the baton and continued to carry the vision instilled by Pastor Jeff.

One of those young men was showing me around the facility when he relayed to me a story that I didn’t know. He said, “Pastor Jeff heard about another pastor, who we all mutually know, who had a vision to buy a school and turn it in to a church. That pastor did exactly that, and has built a beautiful facility." He continued, “Pastor Jeff said, if God can do it for them, He can do it for us too.” So they set out, with mostly faith and with very little in the way of resources and managed to buy the school and convert it in to the church that it is today. This place is now being used to worship God, preach the gospel, heal the sick and set captives free. Has the journey been easy? Not so much. Was it possible? Many would probably say no, but apparently it was, because they did it. The last time I checked my Bible still says, “With God, All things are possible.”

What is the difference between the “it is what it is” folks and the risk takers? I have learned from my own journey with God that it is simply a matter of faith versus fear. Did I say simply? Yes! Did I say easy? No! There is a difference.

The battle between faith and fear is a battle that we all will face. It makes no difference what our vision, career, family situation, finances or anything else may be. Faith will always be locked in a war with fear. Whichever one you choose will determine whether you sit where you’re at or you take a leap of faith and risk it all in pursuit of a God-given vision.

I want to make something clear though. I’m not talking about some insane and unwise leap into something that is not of God. I’m talking about those times when something is pulling you to make a move and you know that it is God. The enemy will begin to jump on you with fear, doubt and discouragement like, as they say, a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew. These attacks can tempt you to back off and maintain the status quo. Don’t do it! Step out and believe God. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

As I’m typing this, our church has been in the midst of a fourteen month battle to renovate a building we purchased. One thing after another has come up and, at times, has seemingly created an impassable barrier between what I have felt God has said and the “reality” of our situation. Over the course of this time there has been a price to pay. Some people have left the church. It has caused financial stress, personal stress, church stress and any other kind of stress you can imagine. At times people have wondered if we made the right move. Truth be told, I’ve gone to God on more than one occasion and said, “Are you sure? Did I hear you right?” Each time there is an assurance that comes over me and a voice inside that says, “Just keep moving and trust me.”

In the last couple of months things have finally started to move. Are all the obstacles gone? Not yet. I doubt they will ever be gone, but there is a mountain that is moving. Walls are being built, platforms are being constructed and new plumbing is almost finished. I have never heard something as beautiful as the sound of a nail gun and a skill saw. The gap between the vision in my head and the building I’m looking at is getting smaller by the day. I can see the finish line. It is still a little way off in the distance, but I can see it. I can visualize the day when we walk in to a facility that is complete and ready to be used to worship the King of Kings and spread the gospel of the Kingdom of God.

None of this would have been possible if not for a decision that I made, along with my family, our leaders and our congregation to jump ship from the facility that had been our comfortable home for nearly seven years, purchase a building that needed a ridiculous amount of work and set up church in a hotel conference room while we try to get it renovated. From a strictly human point of view, we must have been out of our minds. However, fourteen months of headaches later and I can tell you with assurance that I see the end of the road, and at the end of the road, I am going to say it was all worth it.

At many points along the way, I have thrown up my arms and said, “God, I jumped in faith and I feel like I’m crashing and burning.” Gently and with a great amount of love and assurance, God keeps saying, “Just keep building your wings and you will be alright.” By faith I am taking Him at His Word.

So, what about you? Are you an “is what it is” person? Is God calling you out in to some kind of adventure that seems ridiculous? Do you know it’s him? If so, maybe it’s time to jump. From a fellow jumper who is furiously trying to build my wings, I say Go for it! It is better to try and fail than to live life without having tried at all. You just might find that, if God is in it, you won’t fail at all. Instead you just might realize that you were born to fly.

The World's Most Underappreciated

Over the years I have had a unique opportunity to see inside the ministry of the church. From pretty much every perspective, I have noticed that there always seems to be an unsung servant in the church. This individual may be up front in ministry or may be one who sits back and quietly lives, to the best of their ability, as an example of what it means to be an authentic Christian. Sometimes, they do a great job. At other times mistakes and missteps happen. It seems that this individual pays the price, more than almost anyone else, for the mistakes, but at the same time is seldom recognized for the steady effort and example they try to exhibit. It is also true that many of the "mistakes" are nothing more than misunderstandings and mischaracterizations leveled by people who are seldom aware of what's really happening. Since confidentiality is often important in church ministry, this individual must often take hits for things that are not true, but for the sake of helping and protecting others, the truth remains confidential. Criticisms are abundant, encouragements are few and the fish bowl is small. Who is this individual? Stay tuned!

 Growing up, my parents were both very involved in multiple aspects of the church. My dad was a Sunday school superintendent, board member, guitar player and all around utility guy. When things needed to get done, he always tried to help if he was able. My mom taught me in Sunday school, children's church and also in what you might call the hand to backside discipleship program. If I wasn't being a good disciple her hand would guide me from the backside. If church was happening, we were there. Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday night Bible study, work day, chicken dinner cooking day, church janitorial duty, you get the point. My parents were and continue to be amazing examples of what it means to have a servant’s heart.

 My best friend in the world, at that time, was the pastor's son, Brian. The truth is we were more like brothers than friends. I remember one particular summer, that we hung out nearly every day. Either he was staying at our house, or I was staying at the pastor's house. It was great. It was also revealing.

 Later, I felt my own call into the ministry. Through the years, I've had the opportunity to be youth pastor, board member, assistant pastor, and in the last few years, the "senior" pastor. All of these positions have also given me the opportunity to see ministry from every angle.

 I share these things with you to give you some perspective that I feel like I know of the things which I'm about to speak. I've seen the church from the Sunday morning side when everything appears to be perfect, and I've witnessed it from behind the scenes when it quickly becomes apparent that the church, from the pastor, his family, and the members of the church are all imperfect people trying to serve a perfect God.

 And yet, there is one individual who is often expected to be perfect at all times. Some of you think I'm about to talk about your pastor, right? Although it's true that a typical pastor is also under a lot of scrutiny as well, it's not your pastor I'm talking about. I'm talking about your pastor's wife. No, I'm not being sexist either. I realize that there are female pastors as well, but for the sake of today's blog, I'm speaking about the faithful pastor's wives that serve God, their husbands, their families and churches, oftentimes, with very little recognition and under the magnifying glass of incredible scrutiny. I can't speak for all pastor's wives, but I do want to say a few things that may very well be true of your pastor's wife no matter what church you attend.

 1. The calling of a Pastor's wife is very unique.

I struggled with how to word this one without being misunderstood. I started to write that the pastor's wife isn't necessarily a Biblical calling. I know how that sounds and I don't mean it the way it sounds. What I mean to say is that there are very few wives (I'm not sure if there are any) who get called to be a pastor's wife and so the husband drops everything and becomes a pastor in order for his wife to fulfill her call. Typically, it's the other way around. Usually the husband is called into the ministry. This may or may not be something that was known before the couple was married, but the point is, sometimes your pastor's wife is just your pastor's wife. They weren't necessarily "called" into what many expect the pastor’s wife to be. Usually it sounds something like, “Well, God put the pastor and his wife together so she must have been born to be a “pastor’s wife.” Often, they just happened to be the wife of someone who was called into the ministry. (This applies to your pastor's kids as well. They aren't your pastors, they are kids. Let them be kids.)This is a unique and beautiful calling in and of itself. The problem is that a pastor's wife is almost universally expected to be someone she may not be. This is not fair.

 The pastor's wife is often expected to be the piano or keyboard player, the worship leader, the children's church leader, woman's ministry director, the secretary, the janitor, etc. etc. etc.....If she doesn't live up to all of those expectations then she is somehow less than.

 Add to these things that the pastor's wife is also expected to keep the perfect home so any church member can drop by anytime they feel like it. When they knock on the door, the house must be perfect, the coffee should be on and the snacks should be ready. After all, it's her duty to be "hospitable." The Bible even says so, right?

 Oh, and lest I forget, the pastor's wife must always be in a perfectly happy mood. No room for bad days. Church members are allowed to be grumpy, but not Mrs. Pastor. Nope! No Way! It isn't relevant whether she got no sleep because she was at the hospital with a member all night. It doesn't matter if some loving saint has been gossiping about her husband, her kids or maybe herself. It doesn't even matter if she's not feeling well, but shows up anyway. What really doesn't matter is that she may just be struggling and feeling alone and no one seems to notice. The happy face must be on. June Cleaver where are you when we need you??

 Speaking of feeling alone.

 2. Chances are your pastor's wife struggles with friendship.

I may be saying something here that your pastor's wife wouldn't necessarily want me to say, but here goes. I'm sure there are exceptions, but the truth is your pastor's wife may very well feel alone and isolated. How is that possible? How can you be alone and isolated when you are surrounded by people all the time? Turns out it's pretty easy. It happens when the pastor's wife puts herself out there to "friends" in the church. There are those people who say things like, "We are here for you." "We've got your back." "You can trust me." So she opens up and shares her true heart, feelings and struggles with someone she trusts only to find out that her heart was shaped into a knife and placed directly in her back. Over the course of time, it becomes easier to shove feelings down inside and walk alone rather than risk getting hurt again. I know what some may be thinking, "That's not the Christian thing to do. She shouldn't feel that way."  "She should just know that you have to be a friend to make a friend." Easy to say. Difficult to do when history shows you differently.

 3. Your pastor's wife could probably use a thank you

Most pastor's wives are doing the best they can. Sometimes they are walking a path that they aren't quite sure how to walk. Sometimes they are sure, but the path isn't necessarily popular. It's not easy. I'll bet your pastor's wife could use a thank you. I'd like to encourage you to take time and let her know you appreciate her. You probably don't know how much it would mean to her.

 And so I would like to take my own advice and send out a huge thank you to the pastor's wives who have been important in my life. Some have gone on to their reward, some are retired and some are still going strong. Thank you for your example. Thank you for remaining faithful, Thank you for staying the course when it would have been easier to throw in the towel. Thank you for loving and protecting your flock along with your husband despite the personal sacrifice to you and your family.

 Thank You, Beulah Pooler, Glenna Odam, Velda Walker, Sister Westcott, Debbie Moore, Marilyn Scanlon, and Elizabeth Comer. Also, thank you to Peggy Olds. Although you were never my local pastor's wife, you have been an amazing example of grace, love and staying the course. You are amazing and I am thankful for the place you have had in my life and in the life of my family. Thank you to anyone who I may have left out. It wasn't intentional. You deserve the honor.

Last, but in no way least, thank you to my amazing wife, Ann Osborne. You have stood by me through every up and down of ministry and you are still going strong. Thank you for being there for me, our kids and for our church. I Love You.

 Be Blessed, Tom

Relevant or Ridiculous?

I recently read an article about a ministry that decided they would begin holding services in a local bar. I suppose it is the hip and cool thing to do. After all it's important that the church remains "relevant" right? Nothing more "relevant" than inviting an alcoholic to a bar to tell him about how he can get free from alcohol, right?

The day after I saw this article, I saw another article about what used to be one of the strongest denominations in the country. The news was that they were just seven votes away from changing their definition of marriage to include same sex marriage. This same denomination has already embraced same sex ministers and has given their ministers the go ahead to perform same sex marriage. Why would this need to happen? Because, in their opinion, the church has to "get with the times." The church has got to stay "relevant." Interestingly enough, in their quest for "relevance" they are bleeding members in record numbers. I wonder why that is?

Another minister teaches about sex from a Biblical perspective, which is actually a much needed subject in the church today. However, when he is finished teaching, he hands out condoms to the members of the congregation. Single? Married? Marital status doesn't matter. Apparently scripture doesnt either.  I've been looking, I still can't find where this one fits in the Bible.  It does, however, fit in to the subject of "relevance."

The mantra of the leaders of more than a few "relevant" churches is that we don't really condone sin, but we choose to avoid talking about issues that are "controversial." It's not our "calling" to speak about sin. Instead, the focus is on self-improvement and a feel good sort of gospel that is sure to bring in big crowds, but fails to create real eternal change in the lives of their people. All in the name of, you guessed it, "relevance."

Before I proceed, I want to clarify something. I'm not opposed to the church being relevant. I believe wholeheartedly that the church should be completely relevant to the culture we live in. My issue is with the definition and the application of the whole relevance thing. Let's take a quick look at the definition of relevant.

Relevant
adjective rel·e·vant \ˈre-lə-vənt\

relating to a subject in an appropriate way

 

Aha! So relevance is when someone relates to something in an APPROPRIATE way! The next question, then, is what tools does the church have that would allow us to truly relate to our culture in an appropriate way?

 

If I'm to believe many of today's church gurus, it seems to be related to how we dress. A rock band T-shirt,(preferably a non-christian band so we can project that we are Christians but we can still totally rock out), add to that cool skinny jeans that slip inside the ultra-cool combat boots, untied of course, and a grande cafe' latte with a bean on top and BAM! WE HAVE ACHIEVED RELEVANCE! Weird though, because a few years back relevance looked like parachute pants and a karate kid muscle shirt. Relevance is really hard to keep up with.

 

Or maybe, relevance is about being short on scripture and big on making people feel happy. After all, I have heard that happiness is the truth. Clap along if you know what I'm talking about.

 

Or is it possible that relevance is the art of making people think they are O.K. with God while simultaneously not teaching anything that will actually show them how to be O.K. with God? I could go on, but I'm sure you have caught on to the fact that my tongue is firmly planted in my cheek.......sort of.

 

O.K. let's get to the point. I would like to submit that the only way the church can truly be relevant is if the church teaches with absolute love, the absolute truth of scripture. There is a great divide that has come to the church today. The line is not between verse by verse study verses topical study. The line is not between those who want hymns verses modern worship. The line is not between those who prefer pews verses those who like chairs. The line is certainly not between the first church of the Bible believing beautiful berean baptists verses the the church of the pretty cool, pew hoppin, peppy, prophesying pentecostals.  (God please forgive us for this kind of insanity.) The line is between those who will teach the truth of scripture in order to change lives verses those wish to change the scripture to fit their chosen lifestyles.

 

Let me be very clear about something. We live in a free country. A person can live anyway they wish within the bounds of the law. (and sometimes outside the bounds, but i'm not talking about politicians......lighten up it was a joke.) As a believer in Christ, it is my responsibility to love and respect everyone. Believe it or not, it is possible to love someone and genuinely care about them while, at the same time, having disagreements about certain issues.  This is a lost truth in our culture today. Unfortunately, a minority of so-called Christians have built a pretty formidable reputation for being the people that hate people who aren't like them. I don't want to be a part of that church and I will not. On the flip side, our culture has become increasingly hateful toward the church. The church is being painted only as a hate-filled group of people who want to supress people's rights and force people into their religion. This is an equally disgusting lie. The truth be told, most Christians I know are caring and loving people who respect and love others despite where they may be in their lives. What I'm talking about here is not about basic love and respect for everyone. This is what we should all do.

 

What we cannot do, however, is change the truth of scripture in order to be what is called "relevant." In fact, what many churches are doing defies the definition of relevance. Why? Because it is not APPROPRIATE to lie to people about what The Bible says. What I don't get about modern relevant christianity is that, for so many, there is a profession of belief in The Bible, while completely disregarding and changing what The Bible actually says.  

 

The basic truth of scripture is very clear and easy to understand.

 

1. We are all born sinners. The payment for being born in sin is that we deserve the judgment of God and an eternity in a very real place called Hell. It is also not difficult to determine what sin is. I will spare you the list of activities the scripture deems to be sinful and simply say that since we are all sinners, we have all discovered at least one of them. Most of us have probably enjoyed the momentary joy and satisfaction that comes from participating in many of them.....many times. We are sinners and the bad news is that there is not a single thing we can do to fix our sin problem. Left up to our own efforts, our fate is sealed and Hell is our future.

 

2. God, the Father loves you. The scripture clearly teaches that although the payment for our sin is death and hell, it is God's desire that NO ONE would actually go there. I am so tired of hearing people say, "how could a loving God send people to Hell?"  Blah, Blah, Blah!! The truth is God sends NO ONE to hell. God has done everything He can do to keep you out of Hell. If you happen to find yourself there, you got there because you chose to go there. God has provided a way for you to avoid this fate. This is good news because we can't fix our sin problem, but God can.

 

3. Jesus lived a perfect and sinless life and then laid down His life in your place. Jesus, the man, really did come to this Earth and live a perfect and sinless life so that He could die on the cross and pay the price for sin that you were supposed to pay. Jesus is the only way for you to be saved. All roads do not lead to the same God. Outside of Jesus Christ, all roads lead to judment, period!

 

4. If you believe in what Jesus Christ has done for you and you repent(turn away) from your sin and ask Jesus to forgive you, He Will. You cannot be saved by any of your efforts.  All you have to do is believe in Christ and ask him to forgive you. Really! It's that easy! Scripture says, "Believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved."

 

Here's where things seem to get a little bit tricky. We are saved by the grace of God and nothing else. There is not a single thing we can do to earn salvation. However, if you are saved it will change what you do. When you come in to a true relationship with Jesus, your life will change. This is the mark of true salvation. The sinful habits and activities that you used to participate in must be removed from your life. This is not so that you can be saved, but because you are saved. It also does not mean that we are instantly perfect. No one will ever be perfect in this life. However, God will work in us to lead us closer to His image and in the places we are falling short, His grace will cover. The thing is, so many are being taught and believe that it is O.K. to embrace sinful lifestyles and still claim to be Christians. This is not the case. True salvation will change your life. If you're life is not changing, it may be time to talk to God and consult His Word about the reality of your salvation.

 

You may be reading this and not like what I'm saying. However, what I'm saying is true, and I'm saying it because I actually care about you. Despite current politically correct ideology, it is not possible to determine our own truth. Truth is truth whether it is believed or not. The person who steps in front of a car and claims they don't believe it will hit them will still get run over. Every person will eventually be judged according to The Word of God, whether they believe it or not.

 

The truth I'm sharing with you is is more "relevant" than anything else you are going to hear. There are many Christian leaders and Christians who do not want to speak the hard truth that your sin will bring you in to God's judgment. They only want to tell about the good stuff. The only want to tell you about the benefits and the blessings. I love teaching about that stuff too. The benefits and blessings of following Christ are beyond description. Jesus said, "I have come to give you life, and LIFE ABUNDANTLY." God desires to give you a life that is defined by righteousness, peace and joy. His promises are many and they are awesome but the truth that is exceedingly relevant to your life is that there is a path to those blessings that include repentance, submission to God's Word and transformation into God's image. This is the truth. This is what is appropriate. This is what is relevant. B blessed, Tom

Thoughts From a Grieving Pastor Part 2

In my last blog, I began sharing some thoughts regarding the use of social media from a Christian perspective. If you haven't read that blog, I encourage you to take a moment and check that one out as well here: Thoughts From a Grieving Pastor Part 1

I would also like to reiterate, as I did in my first blog, that I am not making an attempt to point fingers or be the "judgmental guy." I am only sharing, from my heart, what have been issues in the church, as it relates to our witness to those in the social media community. Does what we post on social media affect others opinions of individuals? Of Churches? Of Christianity itself? Above ALL of that, does what we post affect the way others view God Himself? I would submit that it absolutely does. I'm not saying this as an educated guess, but in response to situations that I have personally had to address in my life, in our church and situations I have observed in the life of other christians and other churches. My desire is that, in reading this, we would all be challenged to prayerfully consider whether our use of social media is an accurate reflection of who Christ wants us all to be. Maybe, in the end, there is an even bigger desire that I have. We'll get to that in a bit.  B Blessed, Tom

Thoughts From a Grieving Pastor Part 2
Several years back I was a guest speaker at a really amazing church. After I finished speaking, I gave an invitation for anyone who wanted prayer to come up to the front so we could pray together. I was met by a very bubbly young lady who  came up to the front and asked for prayer. My wife and I prayed for her and after we finished we talked for a short period of time. This young lady was excited about everything. She was new to the church and she loved it. She loved the pastor and was appreciative of everything he was doing in the church and for her and her family. She was excited to learn and to understand what God was going to do in her life.  It was great to see someone so "on fire" for God. That night happened to be my last night speaking and so we made plans with the young lady to stay in contact after my wife and I headed home.

A few days later, there was a friend request on my facebook page from the young lady we had prayed for. I accepted and went about my business. Not long after, I found my facebook news feed blown up with the most incredibly angry posts. Posts about family, money, jobs and, honestly, just about everything. I thought to myself, "Is this the same person that we were praying with, or did I confuse her with someone else?" I checked and sure enough, it was the same person. I was, to say the least, suprised! It truly did not seem to be the same person. As I continued to scroll, I saw a post of a beautiful scripture from The Bible, from the same young lady. When anyone would look at her Facebook page, they would see these incredibly angry rants about everything and the kitchen sink followed by a scripture on the beauty of God in the Christians life. To say the least, it was a mixed message being sent.

I don't share this story to point a finger at the young lady. She was young in the faith and has grown a great deal since that time. I only share the story to relate that, at the time, it got me to thinking, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE ANGER? As I sometimes scroll through the news feed, the twitter time line and the instagram page, I still wonder the same thing, not about the young lady, but about Christians in general.

As a pastor.....or maybe I should say, as a human being, I get it. Trust Me, I really do! I know what it's like to be frustrated or irritated about something and you're just looking for an outlet. Twitter or Facebook are the perfect platforms for that right? I sit at my computer or on my super cool smart phone with the most perectly worded verbal beatdown ever typed. I sit with irritated self satisfaction about how I'm about to "be real." I mean that's what it's all about right? Being "Real." It seems to be a badge of honor in our culture today for an individual to "just tells it it like it really is." No need to think about the affect of what I'm saying. It's only important that it's said. At the time I couldn't agree more. So, there I sit with my finger on the post button ready to launch my poisonous missiles of anger at the world. However, it always seems to be, also in that moment, a still small voice whispers, Is this what God wants? Is this how the scripture tells you to react? Is this really what you want to represent to the world about who you are and what you believe? Immediately, almost miraculously, the delete button always seems to begin to shine like a star in the heavens. Click..post deleted..disaster averted.

As believers, we must ask ourselves some questions. Which is more important in the big scheme of things.  Should we "tell it like it is" or should we tell it like it should be? Should we respond to how we FEEL in the moment or should we respond to what is REAL eternally? Should we respond with angry words from a broke, hurting or angry heart or respond with life-giving words of hope, healing and reconciliation? Should we respond with our words or with THE Word?

For a believer in Christ, there must come a time when we each realize that what we put out there for the world to see in the social media universe will never go away. A momentary act from a place of anger or hurt will be seed planted in the hearts of many that will take shape into opinions of the individual, the church and as mentioned before God Himself. It is not enough to say, if they don't like it they can ignore it. The truth is, it will not be ignored. Words are powerful and they affect lives. Don't take my word for it, look at what scripture tells us:

Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life.--Proverbs 18:21(NLT)

And see what scripture says here:
 
And I tell you this, that you must give an account on judgment day of every idle word you speak. ³⁷ The words you say now reflect your fate then; either you will be justified by them or you will be condemned." --  Matthew 12:36(NLT)

You may have noticed that last one was in those pesky red letters. Those are the words of Jesus Himself. Hmm, the thought occurs to me. I wonder if the "If you don't like it don't read it" argument will work when standing in front of God? But I digress.

Words are incredibly powerful and we need to be careful which words we communicate. Words of life can inspire and help to motivate and inspire others forward in their relationship with Christ. It could be that the words of life that you post can help someone who doesn't even have a relationship with Christ to find one. On the other hand, the same social media platforms that can be used to give motivation, inspiration and life can be used to tear down and destroy because of the angry and hurtful things that are posted. It truly is something that we should all think about very seriously.

I spoke in my earlier blog about the sensuality that so often invades the social media accounts of Christians. I also spoke about the need for more mature and "seasoned" believers to mentor and teach the younger in the faith. Today, I'm trying to address the anger that is so often present in the social media of many Christians. I could continue and address issues like, why are so man Christians so enamored with drinking alcohol and sharing it on social media. Why do some anoint themselves to be the ones to tell everyone how holy they are personally and how evil and hell bound everyone else is? Why is their an increased acceptance and participation in activities that scripture tells us to avoid. Why is that all over facebook? How about this one, Why are we wasting so much time on social media anyway?

You may ask why I'm choosing to focus all of this on social media. Aren't issues like sensuality, discipleship, anger, sinful activities and all the rest much bigger than just a post on a page? Aahhhh.. now we're getting somewhere. In the end, this is my point and the bigger desire I mentioned earlier. This is all way bigger than a social media account.

A young lady, or man for that matter, may be lacking in an understanding of their true identity. All they know is that they get attention for showing off their body.  What better place than on facebook?

An individual may not even know what it means to truly live a holy and Godly life because they are not being taught. I'm not just talking about Sunday sermons either. I'm talking about when someone meets with them in a small group or one on one and shows them the scripture.

Many are hurt, broken and angry and they feel they have no outlet for those feelings. They don't know how to deal with them other than lashing out. Why not on twitter?

My point is that, oftentimes, social media can be a more accurate reflection of where someone's heart really is. In the verses previous to the one I posted earlier in the red letters, Jesus said, Out of the abuncance of the heart, the mouth speaks. In our modern era it may be said like this, Out of the abundance of the heart, the tweet is sent.

This is the source of my grief. It's not really a social media problem at all. It's a heart issue. The sensuality, the anger, the hurtful words, the things that we think are funny or entertaining all reveal a little bit about what's going on down inside of us. It's easy to put on a mask and pretend we are great when we're around each other. It's equally easy to unleash when we sit behind the perceived anonymity of a computer screen or a phone app. How's your heart? If you're not sure, you might be able to find out a little by looking at your social media pages. I realize this is not for everyone, but it is is for some.

My final questions are for everyone who may ever read this. Does something in the last couple of blogs relate to you? If the answer is yes, then you need to ask God for forgiveness and allow Him to come in and heal your heart. He wants to. You need Him to. God's intention is not for His sons and daughters to find their identity or their outlet through a computer screen or through an app. His intention is to bring wholeness through relationship with Him and through the direction of The Holy Spirit and The Word of God. Ask Him right now. He's waiting for your reply.

If what I'm talking about doesn't really apply to you, then it totally applies to you. God wants to take those who have already been healed and use them to help others to that same place. Can God use you? Are you willing to let Him do it in any way that He wants too? Are you ready to really make a difference in the lives of the hurting, broken and confused? Some of them may be closer than you think. If you're answer is yes then ask Him right now. He's waiting for your reply as well.

Maybe this year can be a brand new beginning for many in the church. Maybe, in some sense, it can be a new beginning for our churches as well. A new maturity, a complete healing, a step toward a new level of relationship with God and each other. What if?

Thoughts From A Grieving Pastor Part 1

Over the last month or so I have, unfortunately, found myself stuck in bed with the flu, strep throat and who knows what else. I hate being sick. There is nothing worse than laying around not really feeling able to do anything productive. So what is a guy to do? Check on Social Media Right?!......Well Anyway.

I have found myself grieved more and more over something that has bothered me for a long time. Why is it that for so many Christians, the "Christian" part seems to be irrelevant when it comes to social media? Now before everyone decides they want to mob my house and kill the judgmental preacher, just hear me out. I'm not writing this out of judgment, but out of a real sense of sadness and brokenness. I am truly grieved about what I'm about to say in the next couple of blogs.

I've never been one to automatically not be friends on facebook, twitter or whatever with people who aren't Christians like some feel the need to do. I like dialogue. I'm not afraid of the "arena of ideas." I'm not shaken that someone who doesn't believe in God would say things or post things that reflect their unbelief. I've never even unfriended someone because they would use language I don't like or post things that I don't care for. If I don't like it I can just scroll right on by. Some may ask why I would do that. Truthfully, I feel like, if I am going to see what others post, then they are going to see what I post as well. If I truly believe in what I'm saying and posting, then maybe, just maybe, I can have a positive affect on someone else's life for Christ. I see social media as an outlet FOR my faith, not an outlet FROM my faith.

I would also like to say, I'm not trying to say that everything we post has to be a scripture or a deep quote that we googled 30 seconds before we posted it. I've been known to post about the stuff that isn't necessarily theologically earthshaking. I love telling the world that the Oregon Ducks just scored another touchdown. As if they didn't already know by the other 500 people that posted the same thing. I love to share about the great batch of snickerdoodles that my wife just made or the cool new pair of shoes I just got. Thats part of the social media fun. Being Social.

What bothers me though is how little it seems that so many folks that I know to be Christian. Folks from baptist churches, pentecostal churches, catholic churches, methodist, episcopal, presbyterian.......you get the point, post so much stuff that is not only borderline, but downright contrary to what is taught in scripture. I love the church! I love Christians, but come on people it's time we get it together!

And so, I have a few questions I'd like to ask. This will be way too long for one post, so I'm going to take a couple of blogs and just ask some questions for our consideration. I pray that The Holy Spirit will shine a light on us and draw us all closer to The Father.

DISCLAIMER: PASTOR TOM IS ABOUT TO GET HIMSELF IN TROUBLE. IF YOU'RE AN EASILY OFFENDED CHRISTIAN OR IF THE FOLLOWING APPLIES TO YOUR LIFE PLEASE BE FOREWARNED.

1. Why do so many Christian young ladies find it so compelling to post pictures that are so sexualized? I will not take the time to describe, I think most know what I mean. (Before you ladies kill me, just wait, I'll get to the men in a moment) If I'm not mistaken, the scripture teaches that the young ladies need to be modest in their dress. This doesn't mean you have to wear a body length burlap sack either. Please hear me. You don't have to buy into the myth that style is determined by how little material is involved. Our culture has sold the lie that unless your shirts are cut low and your skirts are cut high that you cannot be "in style." This is garbage! All of you young ladies need to know that your beauty is from within because God created you beautiful. This is not religious rhetoric, it is Biblical truth. Beauty is not determined by how much skin you can show. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Many of the comments about how "beautiful" or "amazing" you look are not innocent observations. They are reactions to how much you are showing. I wish this was not true, but I've been in the ministry too long to know better. This is not what your beauty is about!

As I type this, I can hear some of the elder ladies in the church saying Amen preacher, preach it! To the Elder ladies of the church whom I love and respect with all of my heart, WHERE ARE YOU? Scripture teaches that the elder ladies of the church are to take the younger ladies of the church and teach them how to be good wives and mothers. The mandate continues that the young ladies are to be taught how to be "discreet, chaste and good." It's easy for all of us to point a finger and say, "why is it like this?" We cannot point a finger unless we are willing to take up the challenge to mentor and guide ourselves. "It's hard" is a refrain often heard. However, scripture didn't say do it if it's easy. Scripture says just do it.

To all of you young ladies, you are worth more than your body. PLEASE don't sell yourself short.

2. Why do so many Christian men take so much interest in the sexualized pictures being posted by the Christian woman? I've counseled and sat in men's studies with a lot of guys over 20 plus years of ministry. I've been to many a men's conference and men's retreat and in all of that I've learned one thing. Men battle with lust. It is not uncommon for me to see one of the aforementioned pictures a young lady posts followed by a string of comments from the men, as earlier stated, on how "beautiful" or "amazing" they look. Some of you ladies may say, "what's wrong with that?" I'll tell you. I have had many conversations over the years with men who say how difficult it is for them to not think inappropriately when they see a picture or see a lady dressed or looking provocatively. This is not just on social media but at church. What a shame that this is happening in the midst of a time that is supposed to be set aside for worshipping The Almighty God. As it relates to social media, on many occasions, the same guys who are commenting are the same guys talking to me. Does that mean all guys and all comments? Absolutely not! Some are absolutely innocent comments on nice pictures, but i've got to speak the truth when it's not.

Men, it is not ok to shift the blame and say "it's their fault." Lust is your problem. We have to understand something very important. The ladies in our churches are the daughters of The Living God. The way that we think about and treat them is of the utmost importance to their Father. I will say, as the father of a teenage daughter, if a  young man steps out of line with her, I will have no issue responding to that young man. She is to be treated with the utmost respect, honor and protection at all times. How much more do you suppose Father God expects regarding his daughters?

To the elder men of the church. I say to you as I said to the elder ladies. WHERE ARE YOU? As much as the elder ladies are to mentor the young ladies, we older men are charged to mentor the younger men. Scripture says to us, "Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you." I want to note this is not an exhortation to the pastors, leaders, sunday school teachers, youth leaders or children's church teachers. It is an exhortation to the elder men of the church.

We live in a culture that is increasingly sexualized in every area. We know this is true, and we are quick to point the finger at the world and tell them they need to get it together. Maybe we should start in the church.

I want to comment on a few more things, but for now, Church, let's think and pray on this one
To Be Continued...................

The Journey Toward Understanding

I had been in ministry for about ten years. A series of events had occurred that had led me and my wife to make the agonizing decision to resign from the church that we had been ministering at for over a decade. I was wondering about my future. Would I ever be in ministry again? Would I teach? Would I be able to lead worship anymore? A part of me, at that moment, didn’t even care. However, another part of me was grieving the loss of something that had been so important to me for over a decade.

     Soon after, my family and I attended several churches trying to find a place to plug in. We met some really amazing people and some of the most caring and loving pastors a family could ever come in contact with. In all of our searching though, we never found the “right” place and, as is often the case, we began to slowly fall away from church and eventually our relationship with God.

     Those ended up being some pretty dark times. I had gone from being a youth pastor, worship leader, elder in our church to pretty much falling back into the life I had come out of previous to being called into the ministry. I can remember times when I literally told people, “I don’t want to talk about church. I don’t want to talk about God. If you want to just hang out that’s fine, but leave God out of it. The feelings of hurt and betrayal that I was feeling because of what had happened at our former church were blinding me to the truth of God’s love.

 

     A year passed by and I moved on with my life. I found a new job that had good pay and great benefits. I thought I could settle in and just live my life, raise my family and be a “normal guy.” The thought of being a “minister” was anathema. Who needs church politics and all of those “hypocrites” anyway. What’s the problem with just being a good person and living a good life? The problem was there was something missing inside of me. Something Big!

     One evening I was laying on my bed. It was pretty much like every other day. I worked, I came home, watched television, all of the “normal” stuff. Something was tugging at me that night though.  I knew what it was, or should I say who it was, but I really didn’t want to go there. I knew it was God.

    As I lay there thinking about the ramifications of coming back to a relationship with Jesus, my mind was flooded with thoughts of what I perceived the church to be like. I thought to myself, “I don’t want to deal with ministry, or with church. I certainly don’t want to deal with those “hypocrites.” I had become so hard hearted because of hurt, and also because of the sin I had allowed back into my life, that the thought of being back in church was too much. But still, there was something missing.

     I did something that night that I had not done for a long time. I picked up my Bible. I walked out on our front porch and sat down. Looking at the stars, I said, “God I know that you are real, I know that you are there. I know that I need you, but I don’t want religion, I don’t want church politics, I don’t want ministry!
     I am truly amazed at the patience and love of God. He didn’t rebuke me. He didn’t try to explain to me my faulty thinking about God’s people, the church or the ministry. He just let me continue to talk to Him and like a caring friend, he listened.

      As I sat there with my Bible in my hand, I said, “God if you want a relationship with me, you’ve got to show me something.” Now, what I’m about to share with you, I do not recommend as a way to study the scripture. I must also say that God doesn’t always feel the need to respond to our demand that He “show us something.” I believe that night, Jesus just understood where I was at, and was willing to respond to his hurting child.

    I lifted my Bible in my hands and just threw it open to wherever it may open. I looked down at the first scripture that I saw and it said:

 Matthew 16:13-17(NKJV)

13When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, “Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?” 14So they said, “Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” 15He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 16Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” 17Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.

 As I thought about those words, I felt like God spoke to me. It wasn’t an audible voice, but just something on the inside of me that said, “Tom, Who do YOU say that I am?” Those words broke through my thoughts as clearly as if God would have spoken audibly! I paused for a moment, not really sure what to say to that. God didn’t ask me what I thought about church. He didn’t ask me what I thought about Christianity or denominations or politics in the church. He asked me who I thought He was. All that I could say to that was the same thing Peter said. “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Again, although it is hard to explain, I heard God speak, He said, “Let’s just start with that.”

     I knew exactly what He meant by that. You see, my relationship with God had been completely corrupted over the years. When I answered the call to ministry in my life, it wasn’t a career choice. In fact, the first time that I really knew that God was calling me to something more in my life, I was studying for a test in my journey toward becoming a paramedic. I had no intention of being a “minister.”

   Now don’t get me wrong, I loved to preach. There was something that came alive inside of me, when I opened the Bible and began to share with others about the freedom and love of God. I was passionate about picking up my guitar and worshipping my Savior. I was alive when an entire room full of people would join me on that journey. I loved talking to people one on one about what it meant to have a relationship with Christ. I wasn’t ministering to have a cool job. I was ministering because I had a passionate love and an intimate relationship with Jesus.

     Over the years, things slowly began to change. Preaching became a routine. Worship became a job. I had slowly and subtly allowed the work of church to take the place of my relationship with God. I had unconsciously bought into the lie that working really hard for the church meant that I had great passion for God. My focus went from a crazy love and passion for relationship with God, to trying to prove my love for God by doing more stuff. I wanted to impress people with my knowledge of the Bible and my singing and playing skills. I wanted to have the position and title of a “Youth Pastor” or “Worship leader” because I thought that brought value to my life.

     That house of cards had come crashing down around me. I didn’t even realize how my thought process had become so skewed. I was seeing my relationship with God through the eyes of people and programs and events. As God spoke to me through scripture that night, I knew that He was telling me to forget about all of that and get back to where it all started. I needed to get back to relationship with Him.

     It was a long journey back, but today, I am pastoring again. I lead worship and I share my love for God with anyone that will listen. I love the men and woman of the church that God has surrounded me with. The call to ministry never left me, but now, it’s not because I have to. It’s because I have rediscovered my love for God. I have reclaimed my passion for His word and for the moving of His Holy Spirit. I have gained a fresh understanding that God is not pursuing me because I can do so many things for him. He pursues me because He is passionately in love with me. He created me. He knows how to get the best out of me, because He designed me. Take my word for it; life in real relationship with Christ is a great place to be. I highly recommend it!

     You have to understand that this is where the journey toward freedom and a whole heart begins for everyone. It begins with an understanding of who Jesus is, why he came and what he did. When you have a true understanding of these three things, it will change your life. It will begin to bring healing and freedom to areas of your life you may believe can never be repaired.

     In Luke chapter 4, Jesus says something that was a complete shock and was even believed to be blasphemy to most of those who were present in the room with him. In verses 16-21, The Word of God says:

 Luke 4:16-21(NKJV)

16So He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up. And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read. 17And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written: 18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed; 19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.” 20Then He closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. 21And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

     Why was this such a controversial thing for Jesus to say? This scripture, quoted from Isaiah, was a well-known prophetic scripture related to the coming of The Messiah. The person who would fulfill this scripture would be God Himself. How could this lowly carpenters son have the guts to stand up and proclaim that he is the fulfillment of this scripture?

     The answer to that is really quite simple. He could say it because it was true. Jesus was, and is, the Messiah. He is God from Heaven, who was born into this world as a human being. He lived a perfectly sinless life, died on the cross and rose again on the third day after his death.  Understanding that begs the question, why in the world would God himself come down, insert himself into this world and live as a human being?

     Let’s read on. Jesus says, through reading the Prophet Isaiah, I have come to preach the gospel to the poor, to heal the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to captives, to give sight to the blind and to bring freedom to the oppressed. Wait a minute! Did you catch what that just said? Read over it again carefully. What does that mean for me and you? It means that God’s intent is for us to never live our lives bound up, blind and broken-hearted ever again.  

     Let’s be honest, this life can tear us apart. We take on so much baggage as we live our lives, that sometimes it can be a miracle that we even function. Loss, abuse, bitterness, unforgiveness, unresolved hurt, sexual sin, habitual sins, unhealthy or ungodly relationships as well as a multitude of other factors, can leave us walking through life blind, broken and bound. We can see, feel and understand our brokenness, but feel powerless to do anything about it. If that’s you, I have great news for you! Jesus came to heal you and set you free! Look at the words of Jesus in the book of John:

John 10:10(NKJV)

10“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

     Let these words sink into your life right now. Let them move past your hurt, your pain, your confusion and every other negative thought you may have. Jesus came to give you life. Not just any life either. He came to give you abundant life. That word abundant in the original language means over and above, superior, extraordinary, surpassing, uncommon and more excellent! This is the life that Christ has planned for you!

     How can we have that kind of life when we are carrying around all of the baggage of our past, our hurt, our bitterness and our faulty thinking? We can’t. Beyond the fact that we can’t live this kind of abundant life, is the realization that we cannot truly do anything to attain it.  However, there is good news. Jesus came to GIVE you that kind of life. It is the reason he came. It is through relationship with Christ that we being to walk out of our old life, our old hurt, our old sin and our old beliefs. We begin to journey toward freedom and a whole heart. It’s time for you to grab on to these promises of God and hold on like a junkyard dog with a piece of steak. You’ve got to believe that the promise is for you. Jesus came to set you free. He came to open your eyes. He came to heal your heart.
     I have always been into music. I grew up watching my dad play guitar during “song service” at church. I was always captivated watching him play different chords and sing all of those cool hymns. I wanted to play like my dad. So, I found a, shall we say, unique way to learn how to play the guitar.

     My sister had a bunch of old records that she left at our house when she got married and moved it. There was a bunch of classic rock stuff like ZZ Top, Eric Clapton, The Eagles and many more. I figured if they could play guitar like they did, then I could too. So, I would put on a ZZ Top record and sit with my dad’s guitar and plink around until I figured out what they were doing. Believe it or not, that is how I learned how to play the guitar. Now, leaving all discussion aside as to whether I should have listened to ZZ Top records, let me just say that I learned enough listening to those old records to join a local band with some friends of mine. We thought we were going to be the next big thing in Rock and Roll.

    I thought it might be a good idea to actually learn how to play the guitar for real, so I enrolled in some college courses to learn music theory. We learned time signatures, notes, sharps and flats. We learned how to read music off a page and explain what key it was in. We learned everything it takes to be a real musician. I did great in these classes. In fact, I got all A’s in the courses I took. There was only one minor problem. I could never figure out how to take the music off of the page and translate it to what I was doing on the guitar. It seems silly. You would think it would be easy to do, but I never figured it out. What I could tell you was on the page never translated to what I was actually playing.

     There are many followers of Christ, and many who don’t follow Christ, in this world who have a similar problem. They can look at The Bible and tell you what it says. They can even tell you what it means. Some can even break down the Greek and Hebrew meanings of key words, but it is not translating into reality in their lives. Maybe you are in that place in your life. How can you change that disconnect? It begins with accepting that the promises are for you! Not just in concept, but in reality. Jesus came to set you free. He came to open your eyes to see the abundant life that He has purposed for you. It’s time to leave the past behind. It’s time to leave religion behind and embark on the great adventure of abundant life in relationship with the true life-giver.

Let the journey begin.